Born

CSA begins

I was elevn years old in my first memory of Child Sexual Assault by my step-father. This continued for 10 years.

Diagnosed (incorrectly)

This is a guessed timeline. I'm diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (type 2) and Borderline Personality Disorder. Neither of these is an appropriate diagnosis and I carry the stigma for over twenty five years.

1st College Attempt

My first attempt in college was a failure. I was signed up for over 20 credits with zero academic support systems in place, and I bombed out after only one semester. I'm told that "College isn't for everyone", and I believe the adults in my life. I internalize this and believe that college isn't for "people like me".

Last known CSA

While technically no longer considered Child Sexual Assault as I am 19 at this time, this is the approximate date of my last known assault by my step father.

Houseless

I spent over a year on the streets to escape systematic sexual abuse.

Trauma Erasure

I do not notice it at the time, but the extent of my trauma is erasing my experiences and the repression of the systematic sexual assaults I endured as a teenager are buried under trauma.

Move to the East Coast

I moved to the DC area and married my first husband. I do not remember any of the sexual abuse and I do not understand why I can always hear screaming inside of my head, all day, every day, like a background soundtrack to all of the mundane tasks I tackle in my daily life.

The Gaslit Years

This is a decade of erasure and fawning. I hear screaming inside my head daily. I start knitting to escape reality. I'm not being assaulted anymore, but I'm thick in my enmeshment and I spend these ten years trying in vain to please my mother and my husband. I succeed at neither, and I leave my first husband in 2011 after the mutual decision to end the marriage.

Jay returns from Japan

Jay returns from Japan and I leave my home with my first husband for Texas, where Jay teaches as a professor.

Our son is born

Our son is taken away from us and we do not see him for the first two months of his life. I am expected to be grateful for his kidnapping. I am told often how worthless of a mother I am, and I am threatened with physical violence by my abuser. I am terrified, trapped, and trying to recover from a birth that left me hospitalized for eight weeks, fighting for my life.

Improperly Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis

I fall down and hit my head on New Years Eve, and the resulting ER Cat Scan finds a lesion in my brain. Testing begins and several MRI's later, I am "tentatively" diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This goes on for years with repeated testing. Ultimately, only one of three neurologists confirm the diagnosis. I have a brain lesion, but it is not due to MS. The MS diagnosis is not dropped until 2023 and I struggle for 8 years to have my condition taken seriously.

Stormageddon

My mother storms from our home after nearly dropping our infant son in a fit of rage because she felt we'd slighted her by working in our studio instead of entertaining her in our living room. This is a yearly celebration we honor by reflecting on where we can continue to improve ourselves and eating fried clam strips.

I am properly diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and C-PTSD. Both BPD and BiPolar are removed from my paperwork.

I finally shed the imporper diagnosis and began to learn about my true self and just how messed up my sensory body really is.

No Contact Begins

While the process began in January on Stormageddon, this is the final day of intentional contact with my mother.

Intensive Trauma Therapy

I begin weekly trauma therapy to unpack around my mother and the overwhelming fear I have of her taking our child again. This is a dark period that feels endless. Jay takes care of our basic needs, and I almost never leave the nursery. I can't breathe if I can't see my baby, and I suffer from massive panic attacks and traumatic responses daily. The real work begins.

My Stepfather Dies

I do not find out he is dead until several weeks after the fact. His death loosens a big stone in my recovery and I begin to uncover the CSA. I am two years No Contact with my mother, and I now know what he did to me- I just don't know exactly how often or for how many years.

Uncovered Transcripts

After spending two and a half solid years in intensive trauma therapy, I piece together the timeline of my first attempt at college and learn that I was sabotaged. I am FURIOUS. On Friday, I speak with a student representative from my first college and confirm how many credits I was expected to complete. He emails me an unofficial copy and I get the ball rolling. By Saturday, I know what programs I want to take. By Sunday, I know I will be fighting to build an art therapy program based on how I've been healing from abuse. By Monday, I'm accepted into Hillsboriough Community College and Palm Beach State College.

I return to college.

I begin my college career with proper academic supports in place. I end my first semester with a 4.0 GPA.

Publications

I publish several poems in print and online. I join a writing workshop and begin to unbottle my poetry.

I am properly diagnosed as autistic.

My support systems are greater, and I begin advocating for neurodivergent access across the board and in all places.

Publish first poetry book

I publish my first collection of poems, titled, "A Riot in Bloom". It's sold throughout major retailers and independent bookshops alike.

Honors Societies

I maintain my 4.0 throughout my coursework and am accepted into both Phi Theta Cappa Honors Society and Psy Beta Honors Society. I frame these documents and put them on my wall where I will see them every single moring, in defiance of being told that "College isn't for everyone". Clearly, college is for me.

Diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome

The MS diagnosis is officially removed from my medical paperwork and I am diagnosed with H-EDS, or Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.

Graduate with Honors, Associate of Arts, Hillsborough Community College

With a focus in psychology and sociology. Specifically, informed-trauma care and the marginalization of the BIPOC community, with attention to the history of oppression surrounding the inequities in all of our social and governing systems.

Graduate with Honors, Bachelors Degree from The University of Central Florida

Interdisciplinary degree in Psychoology and Creative Writing with a high focus in social justice and gender stuides.

Recieve my AASECT Certificaiton

Recieve my certification as a sexual educatior or as a sexual counselor from the American Associaiton of Sexual Educators, Counsilors, and Therapists.

Graduate with Honors, Masters of Fine Arts, Poetry

With a focus in preformance poetry.

Launch the Art Therapy Program in full

Obtaining my AASECT Certification is the last step before I can take my art therapy program into the wild.